


Leave Me Speechless

by kitkatwrites



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Beverly Marsh is a Good Friend, Boys In Love, Deaf!Stanley Uris, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22874557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatwrites/pseuds/kitkatwrites
Summary: Bill was happy with being single. Ecstatic, even. He was independent, and he knew that having a partner wasn’t ideal for him anyways on account of his horrible stutter. That was, until he noticed a kid in his math class sitting in the front row, watching an interpreter intently. Two hearing aids were nearly hidden by curly light brown hair. Like brown sugar, Bill thought to himself.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom (mentioned), Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 145





	Leave Me Speechless

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by owlpip’s drawing of Stan with hearing aids, and it’s become my new favorite obsession. You can find them @owlpip on instagram and give them some love cause their art is gorgeous.
> 
> I was too lazy to write their signs in ASL format so just imagine it’s in proper format, and I love ASL but it’s not very poetic when it’s written out. This is essentially my love letter to ASL and Deaf history/culture so if you’re ever like “huh is this section necessary?” The answer is yes because I said so. I’m tempted to write more of Deaf!Stan because I absolutely love this hc so lmk if y’all wanna see that? Might just write it anyways but support is appreciated. Also I’m not Deaf, just learning ASL.

Bill was happy with being single. Ecstatic, even. He was independent, and he knew that having a partner wasn’t ideal for him anyways on account of his horrible stutter. His freshman year of college he went on a date with some girl he met online, and after two minutes of Bill stuttering she asked him if he would be like that the whole night. After that date, Bill deleted his dating apps and refused to talk for a week. He knew it was for the best, in the end. Did he often find himself staring at someone in his class, wishing beyond reason that they could date? Of course, Bill was as hopeless and romantic as they came. Yet every time he opened his mouth, his words came out jumbled and confusing. So he decided to stay silent, because it was better than speaking.

That was, until he noticed a kid in his math class sitting in the front row, watching an interpreter intently. Two hearing aids were nearly hidden by curly light brown hair. Like brown sugar, Bill thought to himself. He didn’t understand a single sign; the closest he ever came to understanding anything is when Richie would swear up and down that a certain sign meant fuck, or bitch, or anything along those lines.

Usually, Bill would admire him and move on, content in the fact that they could never make it work. Yet somehow, this time felt different. This boy couldn’t possibly get mad at his stutter, plus Bill was horrible at math and would probably fail if he didn’t get a tutor.

One day before class, he managed to work up enough courage to approach the boy. He had taken a piece of notebook paper and written “I’m really bad at math and could use some help, do you understand what’s going on in this class?” He shuffled up to the boy and gently placed the note on the table. The boy looked up at him with wide brown eyes, and Bill felt his face heat up.

“Umm,” Bill struggled to form words. He pointed at the note and backed up a step. The boy grabbed the note and studied it, a smile forming on his face. He waved his hand up and down towards his interpreter, who ambled over. The boy quickly signed something, his body towards his interpreter but looking up at Bill.

“Why me?” The interpreter spoke, “There’s a language barrier and we hardly know each other.” Bill gulped.

“I h-have a stuh-stutter, so most p-people avoid talking to muh-me.” Bill watched in awe as the interpreter translated his words into signs. “Puh-plus you s-seem smart.” The boy blew air out of his nose at that, and began to sign.

“Sure. My name’s Stan.”

“M-my name’s Buh-buh-Bill,” he managed to get out. Bill felt his face flush red again at embarrassing himself, but Stan didn’t seem to notice. “Wuh-we can m-meet at my d-dorm, if that’s oh-okay with you.” Stan nodded and began to sign back.

“Which dorm?”

Bill grabbed the paper and wrote down his dorm name and phone number, adding a tiny smiley face at the end. Stan blew out of his nose again and grinned.

“Umm, thuh-thank you,” Bill stuttered. The interpreter translated, and Bill watched in fascination. The tiny head tilt, the way the interpreter’s hands cut through the air, it was all stunning. Stan signed a quick response with a smile.

“No problem.”

~~~

Bill paced back and forth in his dorm, panicking. He had managed to kick out his roommate Mike for the rest of the day, telling him to go annoy Richie and Eddie. He had changed his clothes three times and considered changing it again when his phone pinged. He jumped before pulling his phone out to see a new message from an unknown number who he assumed was Stan. “Here!” Stan had added a blue heart emoji at the end, and Bill felt his heart flutter.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Bill couldn’t stop smiling. This was the closest he’d been to a date in almost two years, and he couldn’t remember a time where he’d been more nervous. Probably the first date.

He threw the door open to reveal Stan, next to a familiar redhead.

“Bev!” Bill exclaimed. “I duh-didn’t know you nuh-knew Stuh-stan.” He gave a tiny wave to Stan as the other boy signed something. “Uhh.” Beverly giggled.

“He says hello. Stan and I have been friends since freshman year. I learned ASL for him because interpreters are so expensive.” She signed while talking, her hands slightly delayed from her voice. “Now can we come in? It’s getting kind of cold.”

“Oh-oh of cuh-course, suh-sorry.” Bill ushered them in and started towards his dorm.

“Someone’s stutter is worse than usual, are you nervous?” Beverly asked with a grin.

“I-I’m not g-going to ah-answer that,” Bill told her. Beverly grinned and signed something to Stan. The two of them grinned as Stan blew out of his nose again. God he was so cute.

“So, Stan tells me you need a math tutor,” Beverly commented casually.

“Yuh-yeah, I s-suck at math.” Bill laughed. Stan signed something to him as Beverly translated.

“What  _ are _ you good at?”

“E-english I huh-hope, I w-want to be a wruh-writer.” Stan’s eyes lit up as he signed furiously.

“What kind of stories?”

“Huh-horror mostly. I guh-get to pruh-project all my t-trauma onto the kuh-characters.” Both Beverly and Stan laughed at that. Bill felt his heart soar. Hearing Stan laugh was probably the most heavenly thing he’d ever heard, and he desperately wanted to hear it again.

After welcoming the two into his dorm room, Bill pulled up two chairs. “Suh-sorry Bev, I wuh-wasn’t expecting y-you.”

“It’s fine, I can sit on the bed.” Beverly plopped onto the bed with an exhale as she flopped on her back. A wicked smile formed on her face as she stared at the ceiling. “Bill Denbrough, do you have glow in the dark stars on your ceiling?” Beverly asked with a giggle. Stan glanced up at his ceiling and smiled before signing.

“Stan thinks they’re pretty.”

“Oh, uh, y-yeah. Muh-my roommate M-mike gave them to me. I’m sort of afraid of the dark, so those help.”

“A writer who creates horror stories is scared of the dark?” Beverly translated, “You’re really an oxymoron.” Bill let out a laugh.

“I g-guess so. Even so, the suh-stars are pretty and thuh-they’re nice to l-look at.” Bill watched Stan in wonder as he signed something, his pointer fingers sliding together towards the ceiling. He had a dreamy look on his face, almost like he was about to fall asleep. Bill looked towards Beverly with a confused look on his face.

“He’s signing ‘stars’,” she informed him with a smile. Bill watched Stan and tried to repeat the motion, failing miserably. Stan glanced at him and grinned, grabbing his hands. Bill sucked in his breath as Stan moved his hands back and forth to form the sign. His body felt hot, like he had a fever. Sick with love, he thought with a laugh.

Stan sat back to watch Bill, and signed again.

“Correct.”

Bill grinned. “Huh-how do you say thuh-thank you?”

Bev brought the flat of her hand to her chin and flicked it out, tilting her head down slightly. Bill repeated the motion towards Stan. He grinned and clapped his hands together.

“Wuh-what does thuh-that mean?”

“Nothing,” Beverly told him with a giggle, “He’s just excited.”

~~~

They ended up not getting a lot of math done; Beverly and Stan spent the day teaching Bill as many signs as possible until he felt like his brain would explode.

“S-stop,” he exhaled, slapping the side of his palm onto his other palm. “If you tuh-two teach me a-anything else my buh-brain’s going to shuh-shut down.” Bill fell onto his bed next to Beverly with a sigh.

“ _ Tired? _ ” Beverly signed.

“ _ Yes _ ,” he signed back before letting his hand flop back onto his chest.

Strangely, learning signs hadn’t been as hard as he thought it would be. Most signs had a reason for why they looked a certain way, like “yes” looking like a nodding head. It had been fun, he admitted to himself. He signed “fun” with a smile, his two fingers hitting his nose and opposite fingers. Beverly grinned at him before signing something to Stan. Most of the signs went right over his head due to the speed they were signed at and the simple fact that Bill barely knew any signs.

“I’m gonna head out,” Beverly told Bill, “I promised Ben that I’d go out to dinner with him tonight.”

“O-oh, okay,” Bill responded. He turned to Stan. “ _ Are you leaving? _ ”

Stan signed something back and Bill stared blankly.

Beverly snorted before translating for the hopeless boy. “Only if you want me to.” Bill felt his face heat up. He could be alone. With Stan.

“Y-you can stay, oh-only if you wuh-want to though.” Beverly snorted again.

“You two are hopeless.” She stood up, smoothing out her jeans. “Bye you two, stay safe.” She signed one final thing to Stan that had him blushing furiously and throwing his face into his hands.

Beverly left with a wave, leaving the two boys alone. After a couple of seconds, Stan lifted his head to look at Bill.

“ _ Hi _ ,” he signed with a grin.

“ _ Hi _ ,” Bill signed back, a smile already forming on his face.

The two boys grinned at each other for a bit; a stupid kind of grin, like a new couple. Bill blushed profusely at the thought. A question popped into his head and Bill mulled it over for a bit before working up the courage to ask.

“ _ How did you lose your hearing? _ ” He signed slowly, attempting to finger spell some unknown signs. “ _ You don’t have to tell me _ ,” he signed once he saw Stan’s eyes widen in surprise.

“ _ It’s fine. Most people just don’t ask so I’m not used to it. _ ” Bill stared quizzically at one of his signs before repeating it. Stan finger spelled back “ _ Unusual _ .”

“ _ Oh _ .”

Stan pulled out his phone before typing furiously for a couple of seconds. He handed his phone to Bill. “ _ Car crash when I was little. Messed with my brain and hearing.”  _ Bill furiously signed “ _ Same _ ” before typing “ _ I got hit by a car when I was little and my mom said that’s what caused my stutter. _ ” He handed the phone back to Stan.

Stan’s mouth formed an ‘o’ before signing something with a smile. Bill tilted his head in a questioning manner. “ _ Twins _ ” he fingerspelled. Bill grinned and repeated the sign.

The two of them continued to sign back and forth, Bill asking what a sign meant almost every time Stan signed. They made it work somehow, and Bill felt his heart swell. He was unencumbered by his stutter, and he felt free.

~~~

A couple of weeks had passed, and Bill’s knowledge of ASL had only grown. He was signing constantly to Stan and Beverly, and even attempted to teach some of his other friends ASL. Richie and Eddie were pretty shit at it, but Mike was pretty decent and Ben already knew some from Beverly, which helped. But his friends tried, because they could see how much Stan meant to him.

Bill even found himself talking more than usual, or, well, signing. He wasn’t burdened by a stutter and if he didn’t know a sign he could just finger spell it. Sure, he was still pretty slow at signing and if Stan didn’t hold each letter for at least 2 seconds while finger spelling he didn’t understand what he said, but they made it work.

Stan even taught Bill about Deaf history and culture, which Bill found both fascinating and infuriating at how the Deaf community had been treated. Sometimes Stan would rant about cochlear implants, and Bill would stare at him fondly, hearts in his eyes. Stan would use the “impolite” sign for CI’s and explain the difference between the polite and impolite versions, which Bill found quite funny. “ _ It’s a bent ‘v’ behind your ear, like a vampire sucking the life out of the Deaf community _ ,” Stan would sign to him. “ _ If you couldn’t already tell, most Deaf people hate the implant _ .” Bill practiced the sign with a giggle.

“ _ My dad wanted me to get the implant so he could have a ‘normal’ son, but my mom absolutely refused due to the risks, _ ” Stan signed to Bill. “ _ She even threatened divorce because she’d rather have a Deaf son than a dead one, so I never got the implant _ .”

“ _ Would you do it now, given the choice? _ ” Bill asked.

“ _ Too late, _ ” Stan signed, “ _ The older you are the less effective it is. But even without that fact, I could never. Being Deaf is part of who I am, like being Jewish or bisexual. I wouldn’t erase any of those, so why should I erase my Deafness? _ ” Bill stared at him in awe, as he did most times Stan signed anything. Stan’s words resonated with Bill as he mulled over what the boy had signed. Would he give up his stutter if given the chance, with some possible risks? Bill couldn’t decide.

~~~

Most of the time when he hung out with friends, he found himself ranting to his friends about how amazing Stan was, which only annoyed them further.

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Richie asked with Eddie’s legs in his lap. “I asked out Eddie, and now look at us! Best couple you’ve ever met, right Eds?” The smaller boy snorted in response.

“Sure Trashmouth, whatever you say. But seriously,” Eddie turned to Bill, “You should ask him out. I think he’s genuinely into you, and you two would make an amazing couple. You’ve started to come out of your shell more, and you might not speak more but you sign a lot more, and I can tell how happy it makes you. Especially when you sign to Stan.” Bill blushed at Eddie’s observation and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I m-mean, if you think he’ll suh-say yes? I just duh-don’t want to ruin our fff-friendship.” Richie rolled his eyes.

“With any luck, that’s exactly what you want to do. If you’re dating, your friendship won’t exactly be the same before you dated.”

“Buh-but what if h-he turns me duh-down? I duh-don’t think I could t-take rejection.” Bill’s stomach churned. Was he willing to risk his friendship with Stan by confessing his love? Was it even worth it?

“If all else fails, you can write shitty poetry about getting your heart broken and start a polyamorous relationship with me and Spagheds,” Richie offered. Eddie leaned over and smacked Richie’s chest.

“Excuse me, we never discussed this,” Eddie glared at his boyfriend. Bill chuckled.

“It’s fuh-fine, I d-don’t even write puh-poetry.” He sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. He was willing to take the risk.

~~~

A week later, Bill found himself sitting on his bed with Stan nestled in his side as they watched A Quiet Place. Stan would gasp and dig his face into Bill’s shoulder at the scary parts, which left Bill flustered and nervous beyond belief. Occasionally Stan would shoot up and sign furiously at the screen with “ _ That’s so stupid, no! That’s how you die! _ ” Bill watched him fondly with a smile on his face before Stan turned back around to look at Bill. He flashed a grin before digging himself back into the taller boy’s side.

Once the movie ended, the two of them sat there in silence while the credits rolled. Bill sat there,working up the courage to turn to Stan. Finally, as the final logos appeared on screen, Bill tapped Stan’s shoulder.

“ _ Can I ask you something? _ ” Bill felt his hands shake as he signed; if Stan noticed he didn’t say anything.

“ _ Yeah, what? _ ”

“ _ I, I like you. A lot. I wanted to know if you liked me back. It’s fine if you don’t, I’ll understand. I just _ —“ Before Bill could finish signing, Stan had grabbed his hands and shoved them down before leaning forward to press a kiss to Bill’s lips. Bill sat there, frozen, as Stan pulled away.

“ _ Sorry _ ,” he apologized, “ _ I’ve just been meaning to do that since we met. You have really pretty lips _ .” Bill remained frozen, trying to compose himself.

“ _ It’s fine. So, does this mean you like me back? _ ” Stan giggled before signing.

“ _ Yes _ .” 

Bill leaned forward, pressing his lips against the other boy’s. This kiss felt better, they were less rushed than before and Bill wasn’t frozen with his mouth hanging open. Bill hadn't kissed a lot of people in his life, so the action felt a bit off. He wished he knew what he was doing, like those people who could make you melt with one kiss. He often watched the way Eddie would sigh against Richie’s lips and lean in, completely undone. Bill wished more than anything that he could achieve that, unraveling Stan with one kiss.

Stan pulled back first, signing “ _ Sorry, I’m not used to this _ .” Bill grinned.

“ _ Same. Want to cuddle? _ ”

“ _Yes please_.” Stan leaned into Bill with a sigh as Bill ran his fingers through the other boy’s hair, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. For once, it didn’t matter that he was speechless.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I took a break from my main fic to write this cause I got inspired so if you like my writing or just wanna read an angsty reddie fic go check that out. You can find me @hornyforsharks on tumblr, just hmu whenever I love meeting new people.


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